Step Right Up To Dunk The Clown

Come One, Come All

Starting pitchers not named Sale, Porcello or Rodriguez have been abysmal and that’s why in the kids concourse at Fenway Park they should be holding open tryouts at the speed pitch area by Gate B.

Pomeranz, Kendrick, Owens, Wright, Johnson, Velazquez. They all seem to have this strange issue where they can’t throw more than 4 innings and without allowing a cluster of runs. It gets to a point where I’m punching myself in the forehead far too often wondering why they even bother pitching them and not just throw a scrub like myself who (not to brag) without any warm ups or even throwing in months, threw 65mph in the kids concourse for a perfect strike. Mix in my devastating slider and spectacular command of the zone, you got a better number 5 starter than the Sox have been rolling out.

I am not saying I am the answer but I am not saying I am not the answer. Also, I am saying these guys stink Red Sox if you didn’t get the memo.


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